Hi everyone,
Just thought I would briefly update about our year of homeschooling. At the end of every year, I try to take some time to think about what has worked well, what hasn't worked, what we have learned, and God willing try to improve some next year!
I have to admit, this year had a very rough patch for a few months- I think mid-November through January? Truth be told, it wasn't the school that was an issue those months, though our schooling was certainly affected. One of my children went through a phase as I have heard other parents call it. His behavior was so defiant that I felt like a total failure as a parent and a home educator. But, just as suddenly as it started, the phase ended and we get back to relatively normal parenting. So what did I learn from this? Well, I suppose it was the same lesson that all new parents should take heed of and even the most experienced parent can forget sometimes: Its just a phase. Sometimes children test and test and it feels like it will never end, and your parenting days will only result in either sending your beloved child off to boarding school (or worse) or perhaps checking into a "residence" yourself for a few months. During that time I considered sending the aforementioned child to public school, if only for the sake of my own sanity, but I am thankful I didn't. All things considered it has been our best homeschool year yet.
Curriculum:
We had some great finds this year for curriculum.
1. Christian Light Publishers complete Language Arts program. Every day it included phonics, spelling, grammar, vocabulary, and handwriting. Everything was taught it a logical, progressive, and spiraling manner so there was much opportunity for review. At the end of each unit was a practice test and a test, which served him well when it came time for standardized testing, since I generally don't use testing as a way to assess learning.. It was quite challenging for him, but truly excellent in the results produced. I can't believe how far he has come with his spelling and grammar in just one year. The only down side: He hated it. This is probably for the same reasons I loved it, it was challenging and forced him to extend himself way more than he would have liked to. I am unlikely to stick with this program for next year because I don't know how with three under school age, including a newborn, I am going to be able to force him through it every day. If I can wrap my head around that, I am still considering it.
2. Writing with Ease: This is a great program for any child who struggles with writing. Peter started the year struggling with about every aspect of writing: the spelling, mechanics, and trying to come up with something to say! This is not a creative writing program, but rather a classical program where the disciplines of copy-work, narration, and dictation are applied to teach writing through the use of rich literary texts. The lessons are short but must be done perfectly. For us, this program took a subject that was an absolute nightmare for both of us and turned it into an achievable task. I am going to continue to use it next year.
3. Catholic Heritage Curriculum reading programs. This year, I used the same reading program that I used two years ago with Peter to teach Charlie how to read, "Little Stories for Little Folks." With Charlie, I changed up how I taught reading a little bit, supplementing the CHC program more with Seton's Faith and Freedom readers. He seemed to need the practice and it made the learning process more enjoyable for him, since the CHC program progresses quite quickly. Still, I love it, both for the method and content of the books. Peter enjoyed reading through the Devotional Stories as well, for his second grade reading curriculum. I will likely stick with CHC's program for both boys next year.
4. Serendipity blog American History Trail. I would have as much luck getting my boys to learn history from a textbook as well, getting them to not jump on the couch for a day, or draw a picture that didn't have anybody getting shot or anything blowing up? Actually, I would have to say the last two things are at least possible (in theory). The Serendipity American History trail was a wonderful find! It uses living books at each level to teach American History from Colonial Times through to the Civil War. Peter said History was his absolute favorite subject this year. The down side? You have to be a bit organized to remember to reserve upcoming books at the library. I suppose you could spend thousands of dollars and buy them all, if going to the library is too much of a pain. Here is the link:
http://www.ebeth.typepad.com/serendipity/us-history-geography.html
Most of our other curriculum was fine, but nothing I feel I absolutely must pass on.
Methodology:
I am getting increasingly fond of Charlotte Mason's method's each year. I wouldn't say I am a Charlotte Mason purist, but I have found her methods extremely helpful, and her philosophy of education enlightening. Her methods especially allow us to teach more from living books. I always keep handy the following booklists and try to reserve age appropriate books from the lists at the library so when we head there each week, we know we will come home with lots of learning to look forward to:
Honey for a Child's Heart (Hunt)
For the Love of Literature (Maureen Whittman)
A Landscape with Dragons (Michael O'Brien)
Mater Amabilis (Online Catholic Charlotte Mason style curriculum)
Charlotte Mason preschool book list
Serendipity blog (Elizabeth Foss)
Though a lot of what we read isn't part of our "official" homeschool, the kids certainly learn as much or more from this habit then they do from their formal school subjects.
Other helpful hints I learned this year:
One thing I have found very helpful this year is to ease in and out of our school week. By that, I mean I try to plan to do four full school days every week. Tuesday through Thursday compromise three of these days. Monday and Friday, I divide up our work so that together they equal one full day.
Success breeds success: I find when I try to be overly ambitious, the kids feel a lot of pressure and they shut down. They do much better when they are confident at the level I am teaching them, or even when they are a little behind where maybe they could be. I have found comparison and trying to keep up with children and/or families with different needs leads to frustration and insecurity for all.
Consistency is your friend. So is patience. So is practice.
Little boys need to get outside every single day, no matter the weather. It is worth the extra laundry. It is worth mopping the floor a few extra times, the extra work of helping find gloves, hats, tie shoes, and crawl around looking for that missing boot. Boys that don't go outside are not happy boys. Boys that don't go out are like ferocious little wild things ready to do things like repeatedly stab a sharpened pencil into the soft fabric of the couch, or sled down the stairs in a laundry basket, or dump out all the laundry baskets so they can push each other around full speed. Send them out. There is at least a chance they will come in more civilized then before they left.
Things we are looking forward to next year:
Next year there are a few standouts on our curriculum that I am exited about:
Connecting with History: Volume 1. We will be studying the period of human history from creation through to just a few decades before Christ. Along with Scripture, we will study the major civilizations that built our human civilization in Ancient Times. This program is literature based, but incorporates some classical components, such as poetry, timeline, and some memory components. Though my initial glance through the curriculum is a bit overwhelming, I am exited about it!
Tell Me About My Catholic Faith. This cheerful book from Ignatious press integrates Scripture, Church History, Lives of the Saints, etc. all in a well written, engaging style. But, it is worth a separate post talking about how we are trying to instill our beautiful Faith in our children.
Little Saints pre-school program. This is a Charlotte Mason style Catholic storybook preschool program. I am hoping to to get it for my beautiful four year old Jonas who loves storybooks more than just about anything else, except maybe tv, which he is rarely allowed to watch.
Overall:
I am gaining confidence in teaching my children. I am learning to let go a little bit more each year to what society says children should learn and how they should learn it, as well as the desire to standardize and compare the education they are receiving to the "norm". I am forming my own opinions and growing stronger in them. My children are becoming happier in our homeschool. While they don't love all their subjects all the time, they do love learning and are interested in many things, particularly history and science. They are actually learning, and learning a lot.. While the edges are a little rough still, I see that my boys are developing kind hearts, the fruits of which will be seen in years to come. There are days my patience in worn out and many, many occasions to grow in virtue (which I usually fail). But, overall, I am happy with our decisions and looking forward to a new baby this summer, and a new year next year!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Day of Rest....
I thought I would update my blog for once. It isn't because I have time, I can promise you! But, I did promise myself that while Gabriel is napping and the kids are watching their weekend movie, I would do something that is not at all productive- something I want to do, something relaxing with no other purpose than because I feel like doing it. Oh, it is difficult! How I envy my husband, who can shut down his brain completely when given the chance to relax. I sit down and immediately think of 5 or 6 things that urgently need to be done- laundry that needs to be changed over, that book that I am in the middle of, prayers that need to be said, lunch for the kids that is a bit overdue, winter coats that need to be packed and stored away until next year, you get the picture...
People are not supposed to live this way, don't you agree? It is an interesting commandment that the Lord asked us not to work one day a week. It reminds me of one of my favorite scripture verses, one that I go to when my type A personality gets the best of me:
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest
eating the bread of anxious toil
the Lord gives to His beloved sleep (psalm 127: 2)
Of course there are verses also that say:
A little sleep, a little slumber
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come upon you like a robber
and want like an armed man. (Prov. 24:33-34)
I don't intend to make an intellectual argument here, it is just something I think about from time to time. I wonder where the balance is, the right amount that is most pleasing to God. I suppose is varies from person to person, and depends on the time and season of life... Am I trusting in the Lord to be my provider, but working diligently when he asks me to, or am I relying too much on my own efforts? I believe when we have the right answer we have peace...
On the same note, this peace seems at many times in my life to allude me, with one major exception. For some reason, when I am pregnant- participating in the beautiful creativity of the Lord and lending my body to this exceptional task- I tend to be at peace. This peace extends to so many areas of my life that in many ways, I prefer to be pregnant that not pregnant! For example, when pregnant, if I am tired, I rest (or at least try to- hard sometimes with 4 little boys). When I am hungry, I eat and know that my body needs to be nourished, as does that of the little person growing. If I gain a little weight (or a lot), I buy bigger clothes and chalk it up to "Well, thats just how pregnancy goes!". It is funny, whatever my other goals are, whether they be personal, or pertaining to my kids school, etc. I can put them in second place and say to myself, "Growing a baby is a big task. Do those things when there is time, approach patiently, trust in God, it will all come together." And you know what? It does. I actually usually get as much or more done/ accomplished that way. Perhaps it is a particular grace that the Lord gives me when I am pregnant. Perhaps others feel this way as well. I don't know.
Enough for now, Gabriel is up. Back to work. :)
Thursday, December 19, 2013
A year of Blessings, A year of learning
I hope everyone is keeping sacred just a little bit of quiet in this busy season to prepare for Our Lord. How great He is! I wish I had something inspirational to say as I try to prepare myself for Christmas, but the waiting and longing is the reality for me right now, and not the experiencing and sharing.
So for some honest talk; Hopefully I can share something worthwhile or interesting! As Christmas approaches, I wonder if I am truly prepared. A wise friend told me when we first moved away from Albany to Horseheads that sometimes God removes the "supports" so that you can love him more purely. He is jealous, in a sense, of our reliance of externals. I can say that spiritually I am feeling the loss of the many supports that I had in Albany; from our women's group, to the dynamic and orthodox priests, and even the charismatic prayer services where I could go to ask for additional prayers when needed. Most of all, I miss my visits with the Lord at the Eucharistic Adoration Chapel down the street. The sweet consolation of the Lord made life blessed.
With the move, my focus has shifted spiritually to being more centered in my home. As a wife and mother, this is an appropriate shift- a step in the right direction. However, it is a hard shift. For a mom to steal quiet moments to pray, to encourage the development of virtue and character in our children, to serve our husbands with humility and gentleness, is no easy task. I know I am not the only mother to beg the Lord for more of him, and ironically less of (them) the very people through whom I am supposed to be loving Him. A retreat? A weekly Holy Hour? An evening of family prayer in which everybody prays nicely and nobody has to be disciplined? I hope and pray that I am not entirely failing at this calling, and that there is Grace abounding even where I can not see it taking affect.
Homeschooling has had its ups and downs this year. In some ways, it has been going well. I see Peter starting to be more competent in his subjects and enjoying reading on his own more. Charlie has been doing very well with his reading, and we have all been enjoying a numerous selection of picture books. Peter has been enjoying his "storybook" history. In the Fall we were able to do more of our science outdoors, which everyone enjoyed.. Yet, in other ways, this year has been quite a disappointment. Over the summer, we had worked very hard on relationships and behavior. The result over the summer was that the boys were more willingly helping with chores, speaking and acting respectfully, and were truly enjoyable to be around. Unfortunately, the business of homeschooling makes it nearly impossible (for someone like myself) to enforce the same standards of behavior. Too often whining and complaining has gone unchecked, chores have gone undone, and discipline has been dished out impatiently and haphazardly. Quality time to just enjoy each other has been at a minimum. I have to take the lion's share of the blame when I say that my relationship with my boys is not what I would like it to be. The other cause of sadness, is the lack of time/attention to devote to my dear Jonas. How it breaks my heard when he comes up to me during a lesson or discussion with his brothers asking me to help him put on a costume or read him a story. (My hands are usually also full of Gabriel, who likes to be carried around nearly constantly).
I guess some would say, "That is what school is for!" In a sense, they are probably right. It would solve a few problems, but it would create others. My boys genuinely love each other and are the best of friends. I can't see that being quite as "cool" in a classroom. They are innocent as can be, praise God, and have not been exposed to much of what a public school student invariably would. They are both bright and learning slightly ahead of the curve, though I wish they had the enthusiasm to go beyond what I make them do. (I suppose this is entirely to idealistic). So we continue to try to build, brick by brick, our family, our Faith, our education, and our love for each other. With prayer and trust.
Finally, gratitude. I must express that through all the ups and downs, I am so grateful for my boys, each one. I am so grateful for all that the Lord is teaching me in this semester of my life. I am so grateful that I married such a loving and devoted husband. I am grateful for all my family and the love and support we receive from them. I am so grateful to be able to teach my children each day, to have the gift of time to give them and the gift of myself.
Have a Blessed and Beautiful Christmas everyone! May Christ come newly into your family and our world!
So for some honest talk; Hopefully I can share something worthwhile or interesting! As Christmas approaches, I wonder if I am truly prepared. A wise friend told me when we first moved away from Albany to Horseheads that sometimes God removes the "supports" so that you can love him more purely. He is jealous, in a sense, of our reliance of externals. I can say that spiritually I am feeling the loss of the many supports that I had in Albany; from our women's group, to the dynamic and orthodox priests, and even the charismatic prayer services where I could go to ask for additional prayers when needed. Most of all, I miss my visits with the Lord at the Eucharistic Adoration Chapel down the street. The sweet consolation of the Lord made life blessed.
With the move, my focus has shifted spiritually to being more centered in my home. As a wife and mother, this is an appropriate shift- a step in the right direction. However, it is a hard shift. For a mom to steal quiet moments to pray, to encourage the development of virtue and character in our children, to serve our husbands with humility and gentleness, is no easy task. I know I am not the only mother to beg the Lord for more of him, and ironically less of (them) the very people through whom I am supposed to be loving Him. A retreat? A weekly Holy Hour? An evening of family prayer in which everybody prays nicely and nobody has to be disciplined? I hope and pray that I am not entirely failing at this calling, and that there is Grace abounding even where I can not see it taking affect.
Homeschooling has had its ups and downs this year. In some ways, it has been going well. I see Peter starting to be more competent in his subjects and enjoying reading on his own more. Charlie has been doing very well with his reading, and we have all been enjoying a numerous selection of picture books. Peter has been enjoying his "storybook" history. In the Fall we were able to do more of our science outdoors, which everyone enjoyed.. Yet, in other ways, this year has been quite a disappointment. Over the summer, we had worked very hard on relationships and behavior. The result over the summer was that the boys were more willingly helping with chores, speaking and acting respectfully, and were truly enjoyable to be around. Unfortunately, the business of homeschooling makes it nearly impossible (for someone like myself) to enforce the same standards of behavior. Too often whining and complaining has gone unchecked, chores have gone undone, and discipline has been dished out impatiently and haphazardly. Quality time to just enjoy each other has been at a minimum. I have to take the lion's share of the blame when I say that my relationship with my boys is not what I would like it to be. The other cause of sadness, is the lack of time/attention to devote to my dear Jonas. How it breaks my heard when he comes up to me during a lesson or discussion with his brothers asking me to help him put on a costume or read him a story. (My hands are usually also full of Gabriel, who likes to be carried around nearly constantly).
I guess some would say, "That is what school is for!" In a sense, they are probably right. It would solve a few problems, but it would create others. My boys genuinely love each other and are the best of friends. I can't see that being quite as "cool" in a classroom. They are innocent as can be, praise God, and have not been exposed to much of what a public school student invariably would. They are both bright and learning slightly ahead of the curve, though I wish they had the enthusiasm to go beyond what I make them do. (I suppose this is entirely to idealistic). So we continue to try to build, brick by brick, our family, our Faith, our education, and our love for each other. With prayer and trust.
Finally, gratitude. I must express that through all the ups and downs, I am so grateful for my boys, each one. I am so grateful for all that the Lord is teaching me in this semester of my life. I am so grateful that I married such a loving and devoted husband. I am grateful for all my family and the love and support we receive from them. I am so grateful to be able to teach my children each day, to have the gift of time to give them and the gift of myself.
Have a Blessed and Beautiful Christmas everyone! May Christ come newly into your family and our world!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
..Where the heart is..
Dear friends,
Sometimes we have to give ourselves a kick, a quick reminder to have a grateful heart for all we have been given. I don't even call it a sacrifice of praise, but rather a just acknowledgement that the whining I am about to do is totally unjustified in light of the great good that God has shown me... Regardless;
I mentioned in my last blog post that we recently moved back to the town where I grew up. We were able to pass the summer bye, barely feeling the effects of the move. We had quite a soft cushion of the welcoming arms of family and some new friends to soften the blow of leaving our house, our community, and our dear friends behind.
Well, now that it is fall I am gaining a greater appreciation for the change that has taken place in our lives. I celebrate the new- but I have to admit that at times my heart longs for the old. I miss the comfort of familiar friendships- the mercy, trust, and warmth that comes only from years of seeing each other through the ups and downs..
I also miss also the feeling of owning our own home... I miss feeling like each paycheck was going towards building- building a future for our children, building a life and a home... Whether we were doing well for ourselves or struggling through home repairs and upkeep, at least it was ours. Just like our little family that put our trust in the Lord and started to make our way some eight years ago, it was with great Faith and anticipation that we put our first payment into our home. It may have been more humble than grand, but we took pride in it. We maintained it and we made it our own. We made it work for the needs of our children as our little family grew from a family of four to a family of 6 in the time we lived there. We watched our children have great adventures in our backyard, and zip around our basement on their cars as they went from babies to toddlers to little boys.
Our boys seem different since we moved. Part of this is the fact that they are older. But, another part seems like a portion of them has been lost... A memory, a continuity of the little people that they were then and the less little people that they are now.... But perhaps it is not just the boys, perhaps it is our family that seems different.... There is something about striking out on your own as a young couple that draws and binds you together- like a glue when you know what you have is each other and the Lord to guide you.
Perhaps all this melancholy comes from being in limbo, not sure what is going to happen with Brendan's job, not sure how long we will be in this area, scared to build too much of a life only to start again... Perhaps it comes from a need to distance ourselves a little from the family that surrounds us so that we can reclaim the family that God has made in us... Perhaps it is time to re-ground ourselves in prayer and petition the Lord to help us...
I must admit, I have been waking up quite frequently lately filled with quite a bit of anxiety... Part of this is because the times I have had to pray and reflect have been few and day to day life has been very busy. Yet, there is a God who knows me and has not forgotten me... He has a plan and a purpose... He leads me besides still waters and restores my soul...
Sometimes we have to give ourselves a kick, a quick reminder to have a grateful heart for all we have been given. I don't even call it a sacrifice of praise, but rather a just acknowledgement that the whining I am about to do is totally unjustified in light of the great good that God has shown me... Regardless;
I mentioned in my last blog post that we recently moved back to the town where I grew up. We were able to pass the summer bye, barely feeling the effects of the move. We had quite a soft cushion of the welcoming arms of family and some new friends to soften the blow of leaving our house, our community, and our dear friends behind.
Well, now that it is fall I am gaining a greater appreciation for the change that has taken place in our lives. I celebrate the new- but I have to admit that at times my heart longs for the old. I miss the comfort of familiar friendships- the mercy, trust, and warmth that comes only from years of seeing each other through the ups and downs..
I also miss also the feeling of owning our own home... I miss feeling like each paycheck was going towards building- building a future for our children, building a life and a home... Whether we were doing well for ourselves or struggling through home repairs and upkeep, at least it was ours. Just like our little family that put our trust in the Lord and started to make our way some eight years ago, it was with great Faith and anticipation that we put our first payment into our home. It may have been more humble than grand, but we took pride in it. We maintained it and we made it our own. We made it work for the needs of our children as our little family grew from a family of four to a family of 6 in the time we lived there. We watched our children have great adventures in our backyard, and zip around our basement on their cars as they went from babies to toddlers to little boys.
Our boys seem different since we moved. Part of this is the fact that they are older. But, another part seems like a portion of them has been lost... A memory, a continuity of the little people that they were then and the less little people that they are now.... But perhaps it is not just the boys, perhaps it is our family that seems different.... There is something about striking out on your own as a young couple that draws and binds you together- like a glue when you know what you have is each other and the Lord to guide you.
Perhaps all this melancholy comes from being in limbo, not sure what is going to happen with Brendan's job, not sure how long we will be in this area, scared to build too much of a life only to start again... Perhaps it comes from a need to distance ourselves a little from the family that surrounds us so that we can reclaim the family that God has made in us... Perhaps it is time to re-ground ourselves in prayer and petition the Lord to help us...
I must admit, I have been waking up quite frequently lately filled with quite a bit of anxiety... Part of this is because the times I have had to pray and reflect have been few and day to day life has been very busy. Yet, there is a God who knows me and has not forgotten me... He has a plan and a purpose... He leads me besides still waters and restores my soul...
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Random updates!.
Soooo... I thought rather than wait until I have the time to write anything decent, I would write when I don't have the time (or the energy) and just see what comes across from pen to page! (typewriter to page). I know it will probably be laden with blatant grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, so if you are the type who will cringe, please just stop reading now....
So a lot has happened since I last updated my blog! We discerned that we needed to move back where I grew up, we got our house ready to sell, we moved, and our house is currently under contract to sell at the end of the month! The Lord's hand was definitely in this move, and once again He shows Himself to be faithful. Not that, if things went roughly, I would doubt His presence, but the numerous blessings that have come our way cause me to once again stand in awe at all He has done for us. For example, one thing I was stressed about was finding a speech therapist for my son who has developmental apraxia (a condition where he has difficulty coordinating between his brain and his mouth and therefor, speaking). Not only were we able to get in with the best speech therapist in the county, but she is also a Eucharistic adorer and I get the feeling she prays for all these little people she helps. Another blessing: after a month and a half of no bites on our house, Brendan and I started praying the St. Joseph novena, and about half way through it we got a solid offer on our house and now it is under contract. We also feel so incredibly blessed that we have met a wonderful Catholic homeschooling family here (the Suarez family) through God's provision. I could go on, but I will say that overall, things have been very good.
Right now we are living in the house I grew up in until I was about 8. It is a farmhouse on 14 acres of land, with my parents house on the same property about 200 yards away. The house itself needs some work, as it has been unoccupied for a number of years and is an older home to begin with. Nevertheless, I didn't think I would enjoy living in the country as much as I do. I love that my kids can go outside and I don't have to worry about traffic, neighbors judging me for not standing out in the backyard with them like most of the helicopter parents with only one child (I was one once, too! ya know what I mean), etc. etc. I love that they can be outside for hours at a time and not get bored, because there are so many places to explore. We also found tons of blackberry bushes on the property, and my mom has quite a garden including blueberries bushes, tomatoes, peppers, basil, etc. so we have gotten to enjoy the fruits of the earth. Needless to say, the kids have also been doing their share of helping to weed the garden. I am glad my mom can provide this experience for them as I am not a gardener. One thing has changed for the negative since I was a kid here, and that is that now we have to worry about Lymes disease. We are constantly pulling ticks off the kids and it makes me quite upset at the misguided animal-rights people that have allowed the deer population to become so terribly overpopulated. (The deer ticks spread the Lymes) Venison, anyone?
We are also gearing up for our third year of homeschooling. I am both nervous and exited going into this year. It will be my first year having to teach two kiddos, as Charlie is an official kindergartener this year! Peter is going into second grade, which is a bit heavier workload for him then first. I will need to work hard to keep him on target with his goals for this year. Charlie is proving to be easy and delightful to teach. That is a big relief for me!! We have adapted quite a few of Charlotte Mason's educational techniques over the past few months. For those who aren't familiar, she was an English educator who advocated for short lessons, beautiful and quality literature rather than texts, narrations and dictations rather than workbooks, the careful training of habits, and afternoons free to play and imagine. We have implemented her ten household rules this past summer, and given the kids greater responsibility around the house. That has been a very good thing (although please don't be so idealistic as to think we made these changes by peaceably giving the kids a little nudge in the right direction). We also have done a lot of research on books lists and implemented much more literature into their daily diet. We eliminated all TV except on the weekends (something I didn't think I could ever do). The kids have actually been much more motivated to have me read to them, and have even cried a couple times when it was time to return new/old favorites to the library! I still haven't had any luck getting either of them to pick up books and read books without a direct school assignment to do so, but Brendan keeps telling me that some boys are just too busy to read and let them be. If I am honest, I will say it bothers me tremendously because I was such an avid reader as a kid. I attribute most of my educational success to that one habit. (Lord knows it wasn't all the studying and homework I didn't do). I am trying to learn to accept, be patient, offer but don't nag and not drive them away from being readers altogether by constant harassing. Suggestions? Overall, they are learning, character is being slowly built bit by bit, and we are growing ever closer as a family.
Life with four kids is still crazy and hectic, though full of joys that outweigh the hard things. I wonder sometimes if I will ever get to the point as a parent where all my kids brush their teeth everyday, go to bed at a reasonable time, each meals with multiple food groups, and take baths at reasonable enough intervals for me to go in public without my having to calculate who to give an emergency bath to before we leave? The thought occurs to me now and then, also, if Brendan and I will be at the point where one of us can leave for an hour or two in the evening to get some exercise or meet with friends without the other freaking out that the bedtime routine is impossible for one person. (It is). I wonder if there will be any record of Gabriel's babyhood, as I don't think we have taken pictures of a single major event due to our camera breaking two years ago and never getting a new one. All these things and more make me think maybe we should take a breather and get our acts together a bit more... But on the other hand... Maybe not?
Ah, well, that is my life... Please update me with yours! There are so many I don't see on a regular basis anymore and would love to hear from!
In Christ,
Elaine
So a lot has happened since I last updated my blog! We discerned that we needed to move back where I grew up, we got our house ready to sell, we moved, and our house is currently under contract to sell at the end of the month! The Lord's hand was definitely in this move, and once again He shows Himself to be faithful. Not that, if things went roughly, I would doubt His presence, but the numerous blessings that have come our way cause me to once again stand in awe at all He has done for us. For example, one thing I was stressed about was finding a speech therapist for my son who has developmental apraxia (a condition where he has difficulty coordinating between his brain and his mouth and therefor, speaking). Not only were we able to get in with the best speech therapist in the county, but she is also a Eucharistic adorer and I get the feeling she prays for all these little people she helps. Another blessing: after a month and a half of no bites on our house, Brendan and I started praying the St. Joseph novena, and about half way through it we got a solid offer on our house and now it is under contract. We also feel so incredibly blessed that we have met a wonderful Catholic homeschooling family here (the Suarez family) through God's provision. I could go on, but I will say that overall, things have been very good.
Right now we are living in the house I grew up in until I was about 8. It is a farmhouse on 14 acres of land, with my parents house on the same property about 200 yards away. The house itself needs some work, as it has been unoccupied for a number of years and is an older home to begin with. Nevertheless, I didn't think I would enjoy living in the country as much as I do. I love that my kids can go outside and I don't have to worry about traffic, neighbors judging me for not standing out in the backyard with them like most of the helicopter parents with only one child (I was one once, too! ya know what I mean), etc. etc. I love that they can be outside for hours at a time and not get bored, because there are so many places to explore. We also found tons of blackberry bushes on the property, and my mom has quite a garden including blueberries bushes, tomatoes, peppers, basil, etc. so we have gotten to enjoy the fruits of the earth. Needless to say, the kids have also been doing their share of helping to weed the garden. I am glad my mom can provide this experience for them as I am not a gardener. One thing has changed for the negative since I was a kid here, and that is that now we have to worry about Lymes disease. We are constantly pulling ticks off the kids and it makes me quite upset at the misguided animal-rights people that have allowed the deer population to become so terribly overpopulated. (The deer ticks spread the Lymes) Venison, anyone?
We are also gearing up for our third year of homeschooling. I am both nervous and exited going into this year. It will be my first year having to teach two kiddos, as Charlie is an official kindergartener this year! Peter is going into second grade, which is a bit heavier workload for him then first. I will need to work hard to keep him on target with his goals for this year. Charlie is proving to be easy and delightful to teach. That is a big relief for me!! We have adapted quite a few of Charlotte Mason's educational techniques over the past few months. For those who aren't familiar, she was an English educator who advocated for short lessons, beautiful and quality literature rather than texts, narrations and dictations rather than workbooks, the careful training of habits, and afternoons free to play and imagine. We have implemented her ten household rules this past summer, and given the kids greater responsibility around the house. That has been a very good thing (although please don't be so idealistic as to think we made these changes by peaceably giving the kids a little nudge in the right direction). We also have done a lot of research on books lists and implemented much more literature into their daily diet. We eliminated all TV except on the weekends (something I didn't think I could ever do). The kids have actually been much more motivated to have me read to them, and have even cried a couple times when it was time to return new/old favorites to the library! I still haven't had any luck getting either of them to pick up books and read books without a direct school assignment to do so, but Brendan keeps telling me that some boys are just too busy to read and let them be. If I am honest, I will say it bothers me tremendously because I was such an avid reader as a kid. I attribute most of my educational success to that one habit. (Lord knows it wasn't all the studying and homework I didn't do). I am trying to learn to accept, be patient, offer but don't nag and not drive them away from being readers altogether by constant harassing. Suggestions? Overall, they are learning, character is being slowly built bit by bit, and we are growing ever closer as a family.
Life with four kids is still crazy and hectic, though full of joys that outweigh the hard things. I wonder sometimes if I will ever get to the point as a parent where all my kids brush their teeth everyday, go to bed at a reasonable time, each meals with multiple food groups, and take baths at reasonable enough intervals for me to go in public without my having to calculate who to give an emergency bath to before we leave? The thought occurs to me now and then, also, if Brendan and I will be at the point where one of us can leave for an hour or two in the evening to get some exercise or meet with friends without the other freaking out that the bedtime routine is impossible for one person. (It is). I wonder if there will be any record of Gabriel's babyhood, as I don't think we have taken pictures of a single major event due to our camera breaking two years ago and never getting a new one. All these things and more make me think maybe we should take a breather and get our acts together a bit more... But on the other hand... Maybe not?
Ah, well, that is my life... Please update me with yours! There are so many I don't see on a regular basis anymore and would love to hear from!
In Christ,
Elaine
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
What Catholic moms know.....
Did I mention this year I become thirty-something for the first time ever? I am not in my twenties anymore. I am not starting marriage, nor am I starting parenthood for the first time, Praise God!! This year I actually get to experience both of my brothers entering their Married lives, each to wonderful women whom I love. It is an exiting time!! Just as my heart bursts with anticipation of what each couple's love may bring in the years to come, I also feel a deep sigh of relief that the swift swells and dips of a new Marriage and first time parenthood have settled into the deeper and steady rhythms of a seasoned Marriage for myself. I hope the Lord blesses them with children-- which brings me around to what I really was going to write about....
Though I am not a new mom, we have a new baby in the house. It is a wonderful, exiting, time! New and yet not new... Different.. Lovely... Amazing... I have been reflecting with deep gratitude and joy that the Lord has blessed our family this fourth time, with yet another soul for whom God thirsts... What an immense thing it is, to watch the unfolding of a human person- bigger, more complex, more interesting, more full of life then Brendan and I could ever have imagined or dreamed up. Such uniqueness could only be thought up by the One for whom this little life was created. Perhaps this is what shocks new parents the most: the MOREness of each life- its depth, our ability to look upon it without truly comprehending it, our task of raising each life without truly being qualified to satisfy it or shape it.... If there is a reason why parenthood is startling, maybe that is it? Perhaps, even if it is only at a subconscious level, we know this child was meant for more then us.. He is a gift to us, but not ours...
But no, I am not going to give a lecture on how to raise a child for God... There are many who could give but better and more profound advice then me... I just wanted to comment on how much I wish that I could share the experience being a new (old) parent with so many of the moms (many much better moms then myself) who have not gotten to experience it.... We are getting to the stage now where many who we started our parenting journey with years ago have announced- proudly, defeatedly, or perhaps even with a touch of grief and sadness- that they are DONE... It is perhaps the most common conversation at our moms groups, "Are you done?" "Is this it?" " How MANY kids are you going to have anyway?" Plans are made for going back to work, getting into new routines of school sports, minivans, having something resembling "normal" after years of getting pooped on, whined at, and all the other craziness of babyhood and toddlerdom.... For some, this is a huge relief... For others, there may be the unseen pain of infertility, marriages on the brink, or financial distress... But for others, (and these are the ones I mourn), there is a child in their heart, who God would love to send them, but the unspoken fear and insecurity that holds them back. There is questioning of "Can I parent another child?", "Would we be ok?", "Would our other children adjust to having another life in the house?" I can relate to these fears. I have had them myself. And yet, from the bottom of my heart I am grateful for my Catholic Faith which tells me that there is Grace sufficient- sufficient for each and every life that He sends: not just those that are planned, not just those in ideal circumstances, but each and every child without exception. My friend Sarah pointed out that none of us will stand before the Lord and be condemned for placing too much trust in Him and not exercising enough control. So take courage and pay attention to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. He just may bless you.. :)
Friday, October 12, 2012
What do you pray for?
Before I begin, I will give a quick praise report: Gabriel Matthew was born Sept. 20th, 6 lb. 4 oz. He is beautiful and is quickly capturing the hearts of the whole family. He is truly a special boy and a gift from God.
Last month, if you ran into me, I would have asked you to pray for a smooth delivery of our baby boy. I was praying very hard for this myself, as well as for him to be a good nurser. After three smooth deliveries, and after having nursed successfully before, I had no reason to expect it would be otherwise. Yet, even prior to delivery I had a sense that this prayer would not be answered in the way I hoped.
On Sept. 19th (11 days overdue) I went into the midwives office where they did a bio-physical profile on Gabriel. The midwives saw little to no amniotic fluid, and very few breathing motions, and a little 6 lb. baby who was positioned kind of sideways rather then back-facing to be born. I am sure this is all very routine to them, but I remember sitting in the office as the midwives spoke quietly to the Dr. down the hall. They didn't tell me this, but it wasn't hard to figure out they were discussing whether Gabriel was healthy enough to endure labor, or whether to section me right away. After a few minutes discussion, the midwife came back and told me to go home, eat lunch, and go the the hospital to be induced. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn't getting sectioned, but felt very unsure about how the rest of the day was going to go. I sent out a quick email and a few texts to the beautiful Christian friends that I have asking them to pray for me and for baby. I didn't want to let on how anxious I was. Part of me felt ashamed- of my body for not doing a better job growing and delivering him, and for my lack of emotional strength going into all of this. It was surprisingly difficult for me to say I was scared, I needed you all, I needed your prayers, your support, etc. And yet, right away after I asked for prayers the emails started coming in, texts started coming in, friends were putting me and the baby on prayer chains, attending Mass for us, and storming Heaven that this little guy would arrive safely. I doubt that there is a baby anywhere who received more prayers on his birthday! My phone got very spotty service once in the delivery room, but Brendan (who has a better phone with better service) gave the play by play to a few close friends and relatives. The labor went on all night, as the midwives scratched their heads in confusion as nothing went as planned. Hours were spent staring at Gabriel's heart monitor, watching whether the "dips" we were seeing warranted an emergency c-section. I don't think I ever would have been able to endure all this except for the strength that God gave me from the prayers that were being said. At 9:21 the following morning, Gabriel was finally born; healthy, beautiful (once the meconium got washed off), and sweetly crying. (at least it sounded sweet to me, because they were nervous he wouldn't be breathing).
This wasn't the labor I had planned. This wasn't the labor I had hoped for. But, it was the labor I had prayed for. It was the beginning of a plan God had, and has been unfolding over these last few weeks, which is sweeter in so many ways then the one I could have dreamt up.
Let me explain just a little bit. My Jesus, who knows me better then anybody, knows how insecure I can be sometimes. I have a tendency to be pridefully independent, and stubbornly strong. I know how silly this attitude is, given that we are all at all times entirely dependent on our Heavenly Father, and all the gifts he has given us- whether intelligence, money, strength, etc. are not earned but rather graces shared with us- not having done anything to earn or deserve them. Yet, so it is with me. I rarely admit when I am hurting, struggling, or just plain overwhelmed. I think it makes me look weak and incompetent. And yet, God's will was that I should (this time) be weak and overwhelmed.
After returning home, I was not able to pick up and vigorously take the reigns of my life back like I thought I would. In additional to the physical challenge of nursing and recovering from birth, Gabriel did not want to be put down. The first week Brendan and I took shifts, day and night. My normal body rhythms got replaced by adrenalin. The second week, I started to feel the familiar burn of ductal yeast- a very painful infection with nursing. Somehow, with all the pain I was having, I didn't notice that Gabriel was getting sleepier and skinnier. After two weeks home, Gabriel was not plumping up into that sweet breastfed baby fat with rosy cheeks, but was actually 10 oz. below his birth weight. I felt embarrassed and like a failure; because my little guy who God charged me with caring for was starving, because I hadn't noticed, and because as a woman, this should all come naturally to me! My pride was shattered and my heart was aching.
But, once again, there is a Resurrection to this story. Without my asking it or ever expecting it, the Body of Christ that surrounds me sprung into action. My mom came up and stayed for a few extra days, as did Brendan's mom. Friends extended our meal-train so that we had a full three weeks of dinners delivered to us- and then some. I don't want to embarrass her by mentioning her name on here, but a dear friend started pumping an extra time every day and delivered her extra milk to our door while my milk supply was low so that we could avoid formula and get Gabriel on track. A mother from our homeschooling group arranged for our three older kids to have playdates all week this week while Brendan was working so that I could get some sleep. With my others births, I spend hundreds of dollars on lactation consultants to try to establish nursing, but this time the mother of one of our homeschooling moms (a lactation consultant) checked up on me and followed up with me free of charge. Moms have driven as far as from Saratoga to deliver us healthy home cooked meals, one mom even surprised us with pizza and subs from Inferno! Another friend has texted me just about every day just to say hi- how are you holding up? This isn't just empty sentiment either because the minute she senses things are not going ok, she is here helping out- tangible, actual help. These are not women without anything to do- but women with full active lives, some with large families of their own. I was overwhelmed, but this time not with stress but with the love that has been shown to us.
I am reminded of the story of Tobit- one of those quirky Bible stories with the funny kind of details that only God would think to put in there. I am not going to recount the whole story, but it is one in which God specifically answers the prayers of Sarah and Tobit in exactly the opposite way as they expect. His plan is so much better.
I prayed for strength for labor. I prayed for a baby that nursed well. I prayed for things to be easy and smooth. God has taught me its ok to be weak and overwhelmed sometimes. He healed me of my pride and manifested the Strength, Power, and Love of His body- with the sure knowledge that I am part of it. Thank you, Lord.
Last month, if you ran into me, I would have asked you to pray for a smooth delivery of our baby boy. I was praying very hard for this myself, as well as for him to be a good nurser. After three smooth deliveries, and after having nursed successfully before, I had no reason to expect it would be otherwise. Yet, even prior to delivery I had a sense that this prayer would not be answered in the way I hoped.
On Sept. 19th (11 days overdue) I went into the midwives office where they did a bio-physical profile on Gabriel. The midwives saw little to no amniotic fluid, and very few breathing motions, and a little 6 lb. baby who was positioned kind of sideways rather then back-facing to be born. I am sure this is all very routine to them, but I remember sitting in the office as the midwives spoke quietly to the Dr. down the hall. They didn't tell me this, but it wasn't hard to figure out they were discussing whether Gabriel was healthy enough to endure labor, or whether to section me right away. After a few minutes discussion, the midwife came back and told me to go home, eat lunch, and go the the hospital to be induced. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn't getting sectioned, but felt very unsure about how the rest of the day was going to go. I sent out a quick email and a few texts to the beautiful Christian friends that I have asking them to pray for me and for baby. I didn't want to let on how anxious I was. Part of me felt ashamed- of my body for not doing a better job growing and delivering him, and for my lack of emotional strength going into all of this. It was surprisingly difficult for me to say I was scared, I needed you all, I needed your prayers, your support, etc. And yet, right away after I asked for prayers the emails started coming in, texts started coming in, friends were putting me and the baby on prayer chains, attending Mass for us, and storming Heaven that this little guy would arrive safely. I doubt that there is a baby anywhere who received more prayers on his birthday! My phone got very spotty service once in the delivery room, but Brendan (who has a better phone with better service) gave the play by play to a few close friends and relatives. The labor went on all night, as the midwives scratched their heads in confusion as nothing went as planned. Hours were spent staring at Gabriel's heart monitor, watching whether the "dips" we were seeing warranted an emergency c-section. I don't think I ever would have been able to endure all this except for the strength that God gave me from the prayers that were being said. At 9:21 the following morning, Gabriel was finally born; healthy, beautiful (once the meconium got washed off), and sweetly crying. (at least it sounded sweet to me, because they were nervous he wouldn't be breathing).
This wasn't the labor I had planned. This wasn't the labor I had hoped for. But, it was the labor I had prayed for. It was the beginning of a plan God had, and has been unfolding over these last few weeks, which is sweeter in so many ways then the one I could have dreamt up.
Let me explain just a little bit. My Jesus, who knows me better then anybody, knows how insecure I can be sometimes. I have a tendency to be pridefully independent, and stubbornly strong. I know how silly this attitude is, given that we are all at all times entirely dependent on our Heavenly Father, and all the gifts he has given us- whether intelligence, money, strength, etc. are not earned but rather graces shared with us- not having done anything to earn or deserve them. Yet, so it is with me. I rarely admit when I am hurting, struggling, or just plain overwhelmed. I think it makes me look weak and incompetent. And yet, God's will was that I should (this time) be weak and overwhelmed.
After returning home, I was not able to pick up and vigorously take the reigns of my life back like I thought I would. In additional to the physical challenge of nursing and recovering from birth, Gabriel did not want to be put down. The first week Brendan and I took shifts, day and night. My normal body rhythms got replaced by adrenalin. The second week, I started to feel the familiar burn of ductal yeast- a very painful infection with nursing. Somehow, with all the pain I was having, I didn't notice that Gabriel was getting sleepier and skinnier. After two weeks home, Gabriel was not plumping up into that sweet breastfed baby fat with rosy cheeks, but was actually 10 oz. below his birth weight. I felt embarrassed and like a failure; because my little guy who God charged me with caring for was starving, because I hadn't noticed, and because as a woman, this should all come naturally to me! My pride was shattered and my heart was aching.
But, once again, there is a Resurrection to this story. Without my asking it or ever expecting it, the Body of Christ that surrounds me sprung into action. My mom came up and stayed for a few extra days, as did Brendan's mom. Friends extended our meal-train so that we had a full three weeks of dinners delivered to us- and then some. I don't want to embarrass her by mentioning her name on here, but a dear friend started pumping an extra time every day and delivered her extra milk to our door while my milk supply was low so that we could avoid formula and get Gabriel on track. A mother from our homeschooling group arranged for our three older kids to have playdates all week this week while Brendan was working so that I could get some sleep. With my others births, I spend hundreds of dollars on lactation consultants to try to establish nursing, but this time the mother of one of our homeschooling moms (a lactation consultant) checked up on me and followed up with me free of charge. Moms have driven as far as from Saratoga to deliver us healthy home cooked meals, one mom even surprised us with pizza and subs from Inferno! Another friend has texted me just about every day just to say hi- how are you holding up? This isn't just empty sentiment either because the minute she senses things are not going ok, she is here helping out- tangible, actual help. These are not women without anything to do- but women with full active lives, some with large families of their own. I was overwhelmed, but this time not with stress but with the love that has been shown to us.
I am reminded of the story of Tobit- one of those quirky Bible stories with the funny kind of details that only God would think to put in there. I am not going to recount the whole story, but it is one in which God specifically answers the prayers of Sarah and Tobit in exactly the opposite way as they expect. His plan is so much better.
I prayed for strength for labor. I prayed for a baby that nursed well. I prayed for things to be easy and smooth. God has taught me its ok to be weak and overwhelmed sometimes. He healed me of my pride and manifested the Strength, Power, and Love of His body- with the sure knowledge that I am part of it. Thank you, Lord.
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