Ahhhhh... Friday. I think I try a 7 quick takes Friday today, in imitation of one of my favorite bloggers (Jen Fulwiler conversiondiary.com) Well, here are my 7 quick takes for today:
1. I really need to work with the kids on not making their observations about people out loud. Yesterday at the park after admiring a lady's van and her bike rack, a certain four year old may have said "and you are very fat!". Now, to my children, all the differences between people make them interesting and unique. That is part of the beauty of childhood. Lately, Charlie has also been fascinated by people's ages and told someone close to me "and you are very old!" (Everyone seems old when you are four). Yet, his observations extend to tall, short, dark skin, light skin, old, young, fat, skinny, ugly, beautiful, in a wheelchair, etc. It is going to be a lot less embarrassing when the kids learn to spare people's feelings. Yet, it is going to be a sad day when they realize the differences they think are so interesting are the very things people are ashamed of, and are used by society to lift some people up and put others down.
2. I need to work harder to get Peter around kids his age, especially other little boys with similar interests. He has a couple close friends that are girls and are 4 or 5, but the boys he used to hang with are all in school so that makes our social times fewer and further between. I am always proud of the fact that everywhere we go he makes friends easily with boys and girls of different ages. Yesterday, though, as we were leaving the park, he was telling me proudly he made friends with an 8 year old. "But, Mommy!, we will have to go back to the park every day! I hate meeting friends and then I don't see them again!" Alright, so there is a need there: a desire for that boy friendship with other rough and tumble kids like himself. I signed him up for soccer, hoping that it provides a little consistency for him. I am resolving to try a little harder next year to commit to the different activities with our homeschool group so that he gets to know the kids there as well. Any other advice?
3. Next week on Wednesday we find out BOY or GIRL! I don't know what kind of child God authored this time, but I truly believe that His will is the right one. There are advantages either way. A boy means Jonas has somebody to partner up with, share a room with, etc. It means we don't have to buy double the clothes, worry as much about privacy and the inevitable anatomy questions that would come with a girl. Boy is comfortable, familiar, and I LOVE my boys. They are just incredibly sweet and loving, and funny! On the other hand, a daughter is a blessing too! I can only imagine that the bond with a daughter, the interests shared, closeness, etc. is different then a boy. Of course, hopefully it would stop the intrusive questions about "Are you going to try for a girl?" as though my boys were not equally blessings whether there was one of them or six. I do hope that the child is healthy, though I know there are no guarantees on that either. There are a few things I know for certain about this child: He or She will be a unique person in all of creation from the beginning of the world, and He or She will be welcomed and loved in our family.
4. After giving it up for six weeks during Lent, I decided Easter Sunday to de-activate my Facebook. Some people are able to moderate their use of it quite well. I find I can't. I feel badly about each person I don't say Happy Birthday to and each conversation I don't follow up on. For me it is too much competition to uphold some imaginary social status which I really didn't have to begin with. I know there are advantages to Facebook: the ability to evangelize, to create or grow in certain relationships, to be up to date with the latest happenings, to be there for people when they need you. As a stay at home mom, there have been times it has been my "lifeline" to other adults. But, for me, I find I am more able to be present to the people who need me most when the temptation isn't there. I will just have to make the effort to call friends or schedule times to get together, but perhaps that is better anyway.
5. This week our Magdalena group was transitioned to new leadership. My good friend Tara is now organizing/coordinating. She devised a new format whereby everyone in the group takes responsibility for some aspect of the ministry. I am very confident in her knowledge, her spirituality, etc. It is still another major change in our relatively new ministry. I think that has been God's way with our ministry though, to make us constantly dependent on his Grace and His power to author the conversions in hearts that He wants to use it for. I think it is a great opportunity for the women who I have watched grow as followers of Christ to now grow in their ability to bring that relationship to others. It is exiting and I continue to pray, support, and watch!
6. I have been thinking a lot lately about the importance of community in our walk with the Lord. Perhaps this will be the subject of a longer blog post one of these days. But for now, I will just share a couple of my reflections as it stands. I think that discerning the right community for my children to grow in is probably going to be one of the major subjects of our prayer for the next couple years. Brendan and I have the choice whether to move closer to our families. This would provide a little more stability and unconditional love in my children's lives that only grandparents can. I think experiencing love and acceptance is truly the beginning of getting to know the Lord. However, the Church community there is not as strong and we aren't really connected to it like we are in Albany due to our involvement here over the last few years. I am not sure whether we would have the support with homeschooling that we have now. Even if we stay in Albany, finding the right mix of solid Faith formation and passionate community is going to be a challenge. If it is too much head knowledge without the example of solid Christians around us to back it up, we can be more motivated to win at Christianity: be the most orthodox, the most proper, etc. even more then we are motivated to love Christ and each other. On the other hand, if we rely too much on the people around us, they are sure to disappoint us sooner or later and that disillusionment can even lead to a loss of Faith. Even in the best community, we can fail to develop the virtue of fortitude which enables us to stand alone sometimes. Perhaps the desire to be liked or loved by the community: to be seen as reasonable and levelheaded, can prevent us from accepting with fullness the standard the Holy Spirit has to offer. None of us come to Christ alone. We all need someone to show us the way; we come as a Church, the Bride of Christ, the Body of Christ. And yet, the community is never the end, but we must always strive to move beyond it to a relationship with Christ Himself. We are called to be in the world but not of the world, a sheep among wolves. We must love Christ in each other, but never each other instead of Him. Theologian Richard John Newhaus wrote this and I never forgot it: One time he walked up to the door of a (rather progressive) Catholic Church and there was a banner that said, "God is other people". He wanted to take it down and put a comma in so it said "God is Other, people". Love it.
7. It is Friday and Brendan was supposed to be with his family in Florida today taking a four day trip to honor his Grandfather who passed away last month. Brendan was worried about how I would handle the stress, being pregnant and being used to him providing a lot of practical and emotional support. He cancelled the trip and decided he was more needed at home. I feel quite torn about this. On the one hand, extreme relief. I admire single moms and women who are able to hold it all together when their husbands travel on business, etc. I don't know how you do it. I probably could have survived the four days with the kids, but it would have been hard for me. I do feel badly that Brendan is missing such an important family event. One thing I can say for certain, I am eternally grateful I married a man who loves his family and is so devoted to them!
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